So. I'm now in the Hilton KL, enjoying the amneties, the room, the quietude. Tomorrow's my final presentation, need to score in that one, but will take one day at a time. So far it's been a good time of rest, reading the Christian books I've brought along.

Author's Frank Peretti, and his Christian fiction works are amazing. I like the perspective he puts on things, e.g. spiritual warfare and how real it is. Finished reading "This Present Darkness" and now devouring "Piercing the Darkness". In both books, a town is ravaged by demons as the Strongman attempts to establish a hold on the territory. Angelic hosts are present, of course, but the part that has struck me most is how dependent they are on prayer to act.

I guess sometimes it's so easy to take for granted prayer, this tool that we've been given. So easy to just let our thoughts wander, and start to THINK about things instead of LETTING GO and committing them to God in prayer. Rationalisation is perhaps one of the enemy's strongest weapons. Anything and everything can be explained away. Anything and everything can be a grey area. Anything and everything can be pushed beyond their reasonable limits. Anything and everything can be both right and wrong, depending on what perspective you take.

So subtle are the enemy's lies. He knows fully well that overt deception is easily identified and hence rejected; it's in the subtleties that true warfare takes place.

Anyway I've been writing in a journal lately, my private thoughts and private prayers. I wonder if written prayers count, and yet somehow I think there's a certain power in oral confession. After all, why else would the Bible talk about needing to "confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord", not just believe in the heart alone? And then there's the exercise of the gift of tongues, the spiritual muscle. The tongue is not loosed by the finger writing.

Then what about mute people? Would they have the gift of tongues? Perhaps it'll then be in the cries of their spirit unto God.

But it shouldn't be for me to wonder if I can use their position to rationalise tongue-speaking. If I'm given the gift of speech, I'm to be a steward of it, and that includes doing the things that I've been enabled to do!

Yet, oh man, this thing, thought. Lord I need Your peace upon my mind. Oh Lord, even as I type this I say it out loud, as well as in my heart. Lord I need You, Holy Spirit, to take over my heart, mind, soul and spirit, for I do not trust myself at all. I don't trust the thoughts that enter my mind. I don't trust my humanity, cos I know how flawed I am. Yet Lord I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You, and that You love me, weaknesses and all. But Your Word also says that Your strength is made perfect in my weaknesses. So Lord I boast about my weaknesses - Oh Lord I am so weak! Far from being the confident person that many make me out to be, Lord You know exactly who I am and what goes on behind the scenes. And Lord I need You, You know I do. Please come and fill me anew, afresh. Renew my mind in You Lord, I need You to take FULL control. I claim Your freedom and victory in Jesus' name, from anything and everything that's holding me down, weighing me down. Help me Lord, to truly forget what's behind, casting aside all that hinders, to press on towards that which You have in store for me, that heavenly purpose that was determined even before I was born. Lord hold me tight and never let me go. Grab a whole of my heart and my mind especially. Only You know, and I put my trust in You alone. You know me inside out, You know what's best for me, You know what I need to go through at every station, every season, everyday of my life. Jesus, my Lord, Saviour and Friend - never ever let me go I pray. Keep my feet from stumbling, hold me up with Your righteous right hand I pray. Oh bless You Lord, for You are good, all the time, independent of how I feel, cos it's an unchangable fact, as real as the fingers that type this. Jesus I give You control. Take me Lord, bless Your holy name. My heart cries out to You Lord; my soul pants for You like a deer pants for the water. Bless You Lord, Your name be praised always! Amen and Amen!