Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I still can't believe I worked at the tax project for 6 straight hours today.
Sanity preserved by God's grace :P
Kopi-meter: 0.75 x 
+ 3 x 
prinsessa mused @ 10:53 PM
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Haha if only right :)
Well now with exams over and one course left, things are a lot better. Now's the period of catching up on all the other things that have been left on the bench during the hectic past term. Seems like many balls, but I shall remember the recent revelation of
doing what is important, not what is urgent. So easy sometimes to get caught up in the nitty gritty of the moment, that one can actually look back at the day and wonder if it has been truly fruitful.
So timely, an article on this came in today:
"We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished.
Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort.
Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness."
- Henri Nouwen
What a good perspective to take. Truly, it's only when I am weak, that I am truly strong.
Thank God for the Holy Spirit who leads and guides us through each day and enable us to be truly fruitful in all senses of the word.
Kopi-meter: 0.5 x + 4 x
prinsessa mused @ 10:58 PM
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I love bread!
"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God." -- so just give me the 2, and I'll be one happy girl :P
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 2 x prinsessa mused @ 9:59 PM
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Am sure glad that I didn't have to do that in order to go out with Mum today :)
We went shopping in Suntec for office wear (finally got a nice fitting jacket, among loads of other things), but I think what I enjoyed more was to finally be able to catch up with her and just chat with her on the stuff that's been going on in my life, especially regarding the career decision. I know that Mum and Dad will be supporting me in prayer, and it continues to be my desire that the final career path chosen is one that Dad and Mum are also at peace with. I know God will grant me that, because it's in line with what the Bible says about honouring parents - don't think He'll lead me to a door within His will, that would not be agreeable to my parents, who are spiritually attuned to the Holy Spirit in their own right too. So while I'm praying for God to keep only those doors that are within His will open, I know one way He'll guide me is through my parents.
And yes, I cling on to the impression that He laid upon my heart about embarrassing me with His goodness in guiding me to the job that'll accomplish His purposes for my life during this season of the journey. Can't wait to look back and stand in amazement of His faithfulness and omniscience! As for now, it is tough, the daily steps of faith with a fuzzy future, but at the same time, like a toddler taking uncertain steps, I know that when I continue to look to my Daddy with outstretched arms, He's right there nearby, ready to catch me and envelope me in His arms.
God is good!
Kopi-meter: 0.75 x + 3 x
prinsessa mused @ 9:04 PM
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At 3pm today, a monumental step was taken by Singapore. The official word: Yes, to the casino on our shores. Not just 1 though, but 2. To capture more revenue, of course.
Perhaps I was hoping against hope that it wouldn't come to be. But I guess it's also a fulfilment of the signs of the end times. Just as the only constant is change, economic progress inevitably triumphs in the end.
But at what cost?
Building 'gambling addiction counselling centres' to help our society deal with the potential problems that may arise from gambling - wouldn't it be a case of closing the barn door after the house has already escaped then? Too little, too late? Do we learn nothing from all these proverbs?
Perhaps I'm making too big a deal out of all this. But one thing's for sure - me & my future family are gonna stay clear of Marina Bay and Sentosa. Hopefully, the same won't be said of Singapore.
Hopefully.
Kopi-meter: 0.5 x + 3 x
prinsessa mused @ 7:31 PM
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Am so thankful that I don't need an Internet connection in order to have a conversation with God :)
We had such an awesome and excellent weekend man. Prayer mtg at 4.15pm was PACKED, and R delivered such a power and timely sermon. Above all, the stirring of the Holy Spirit was so strong on both Sat & Sun. Am really excited, yet a part of me knows that this is not the time to hold back, but to really let go and go all out - and that's not an easy thing to do. Uncertainty can breed fear, and fear can cripple one into staying put even when everything else says "move it!" But thank GOD that He did NOT give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of POWER, LOVE and SELF DISCIPLINE. And that comes from keeping both eyes fixed, not on the choppy waters around the boat, but on the Lord calling us to step out of the boat into His arms.
When You say "step out on the water"And they say it can't be doneWe'll fix our eyes on YouAnd we will comeKopi-meter: 0.5 x + 2 x
prinsessa mused @ 8:57 PM
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Time for mine.
Freedommm mm mm zzz zzzzzzzzzzz...
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 3 x prinsessa mused @ 11:09 PM
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The wonders of wireless technology.
Am now at Siglap Macs typing this. Was actually quite (pleasantly) surprised that this outlet has Internet access, initially thought that only the bigger outlets had this. Too bad it's only gonna be free till end of April though....maybe they'll let 'loyal' customers continue using the wireless Internet for free (though I wonder how 'loyal' I'm counted, given that I only order either coffee or tea from here. Scared off by Supersize Me? :P).
Just finished my IT & the Law paper this morning. Think I could have drafted my answers a lot better, but well, am not gonna dwell upon it, no point :) just leave it and let God.
Can't believe that this week's already gonna end (though I've really been looking forward to it). For some of my friends, it'll be the last week of their lives as students (for me, I'm prolonging the 'dream' - since work's probably gonna be another challenge :P - till end of May). Gonna miss hanging out with them and seeing them around. But well, there are always reunions...and emails :)
Speaking of which, I've suddenly had increased email correspondence with old friends...particularly with my best friend! Am so happy for that...really miss her lah (and I know she's probably reading this hehe). Thank God for technology. Would rather view it as a tool rather than a master. Though I wonder how realistic this can be in many households with teenagers whose fingers are more active on the keyboard and mouse than in flipping a book or writing a sum. Less vindictive than, say, gun control, but still. One wonders.
Well, shall start revising for the final paper tomorrow.
Yep, you guessed it - Strategy @ 1430h. Freedom @ 1730h (!!!).
Kopi-meter: 1 x
prinsessa mused @ 4:58 PM
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
IT & the Law exam. 9am tomorrow. 2 essay questions within 2 hours.
Can do! :)
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 2 x prinsessa mused @ 9:14 PM
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As in the words of my Law & Int'l Business professor (whose exam I'm incidentally taking tomorrow) - onto my date with destiny!
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 2 x prinsessa mused @ 9:50 PM
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Feelin' kinda nutty right now.
Probably attributed to:
1) the chockful of peanuts, cashew nuts, sunflower kernels, roasted grams, wasabi green peas that I pigged out on in the past 5 hours (guess who can't complain about the 2 huge acne residing in that strategic space between the eyebrows above the nose); or
2) the Law & Int'l Business stuff that are detained behind the aforementioned space (erm hopefully? :P).
But well. For some strange reason I feel like I'm losing weight though I'm definitely snacking more during this period leading up to my exams. Well hey, shan't complain man, rather this than vice-versa.
Time for shut-eye. Resting knowing I'm in His embrace, best place to be.
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 0.5 x 
+ 3 x
prinsessa mused @ 11:43 PM
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Grant me sound sleep Lord. I rest in You.
prinsessa mused @ 11:11 PM
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Just ate 1.25l worth of yoghurt...haha :)
God is so good. Had a fruitful time with V at Suntec Macs again. Amazing how one can concentrate better outside, noisy hustle-and-bustle of crowds notwithstanding, than in the quietness of home. Think it's the allure of the bed. But perhaps it's a good thing, so that when one does reach home, the room doesn't remind one of work anymore, but of unwinding and rest. Goes to show how the SOHO concept requires much discipline on the employee's part. Still, I'll much prefer to have an own-time-own-target kind of job; I value flexibility a fair bit, and guard control over my own time quite jealously, but it remains to be seen if this is a realistic expectation on my part as a fresh grad. Anyway, He knows what I need better than even myself sometimes...so just commit it to Him lah.
K time to snooze, Tax Planning tomorrow at 8.30am. Joy of the Lord be my strength :P
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 1 x + 1.5 x prinsessa mused @ 11:46 PM
Psalms 37
1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
Speaks of the fleeting nature of this world and what many people around us are pursuing. Solomon's words of "all is vanity" comes to mind.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
I think this provides very good guidance. With the knowledge that God's promises are available to us but also contingent on whether we lay hold of them by our obedience and faith in applying His Word, I see 4 areas to be practically applied to harness the power of His Word, particularly the promises that this Psalm possesses:
1) Trust in the Lord
Speaks for itself :) a reminder to everyday, reject every doubt planted by satan into the mind, and keep both eyes fixed on His promises, and be careful not to let human rationalisation take over, becos man's wisdom is really limited and myopic in comparison with what God knows, Him who sees past, present and way into the future, and knows what happens even before they do.
2) Do good
Mt 6:33 leaps to mind - seeking God's kingdom and righteousness first. It's not so much abt the 'doing', ie empty religion, obligations, rituals. But what counts is in doing that which God has called us to do, and to lead righteous lives, i.e. living by faith, not by doubt.
3) Dwell in the land
I believe this means dwelling in God's land, i.e. in His paths for us. Not in our own land, but in God's land, the land that He has already set aside for us. Only when we are in His land can we enjoy His blessings that come when we are under His coverage.
4) Enjoy safe pasture
Pasture = grass = provision. Thus this means to enjoy God's provision, as opposed to relying on our own provision (our own strength, striving), or even looking elsewhere for provision (people, situations). To draw all that we need from Him!
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
THIS nails it. The ongoing struggle btwn what we want, and what God wants for us. But the verse is clear - when we delight ourselves in the Lord, ie just letting Him and His plans take precedence over ours, and taking joy in that knowledge, He'll in turn grant us our desires - not what we THINK we want, but what He knows we, in the innermost part of our hearts, really desire. Ie there's the distinction btwn superficial position-based approach (i.e. I want a job with A, B, C, D criteria) and a deeper, interest-based approach (i.e. I want a job that meets my W, X, Y, Z interests and needs and desires).
5 Commit your way to the LORD ;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Though we may, at the moment, walk in the darkness of uncertainty, the promise is this, that in time, our journey of faith (because it's faith that credits us righteousness) will bring illumination and clarity, not only in our own life, but it'll also become a testimony to those around us, ie the justice of our cause will be revealed so strongly, like the noonday sun, that they may know the Jesus that we trust in and uphold.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret-it leads only to evil.
"Do not fret" is repeated THRICE in this passage alone (also in the very first verse!) - I think this is becos God knows that though we initially say that we'll trust in Him, we tend to start worrying again when we see the people around us making decisions that seem so sound in the human rationale (ie choosing this job, pursuing this career prospect), and we ourselves seem to be languishing in the ambiguity of walking by faith. BUT we are called not to fret, ie not to worry, but to hold onto God's promises by being still before Him (shutting out all the cacophony of opinions and voices that bombard us from all sides as to what we should do), and wait patiently for Him (for His promises to come to pass), and not to worry even though others may seem to succeed. It is also impt that we 'refrain from anger and turn from wrath', I think esp towards God, i.e. bitterness and anger in saying "Why are You taking so long Lord? Why not now? Why don't I see things happening now?? What's happening?". The Bible is clear - don't worry, cos it leads only to evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.
There we go - though man may mock us and say, "That's a really dumb decision to make, putting God first...You're wasting your youth / prime years away!" BUT we know that all things man-made are temporary, but what LASTS is the inheritance that comes only from the Lord as a result of hoping in HIM and being humble before Him in wanting HIS will to be done (cos pride = self = wanting our way first becos we deem it best).
12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.
14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
This is esp when we see others in the world succeeding despite being unscrupulous or pursuing the world and what it offers. But God is our help and our 'backer' - we have no fear! Justice will be done - not by us, but by the Lord, who is our Avenger :)
16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.
18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD ,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
20 But the wicked will perish:
The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish-vanish like smoke.
Again, there's a lot more desirability in God's inheritance as opposed to the world's wealth - God's inheritance is not only enduring, it persists on even during times of famine! Like how, though everyone around us may not be doing well, somehow we still manage to perform far above expectations! And that's not thru anything that we do, but simply because we enjoy the grace of God's favour that comes from living in His land and enjoying His pasture! As opposed to the world's wealth, which may seem really desirable at the point in time, but like the beauty of the fields, instant gratification's beauty is so fleeting - it never does last.
21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;
22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be cut off. Good reminder for us to keep asking ourselves - are we always expecting to receive from others, or are we always looking out for ways to bless other people? Somehow I realise that the times I choose to focus on the latter are the times where my needs, put aside, are always miraculously met, even without me purposely focusing on addressing them. It's weird - but that's how wonderful 'God's mysterious ways' are :)
23 If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;
24 though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
I think this is an awesome promise. If God is pleased with us and our lives, even if sometimes we falter and make mistakes, He makes sure we don't fall, but holds us firmly up, and partners with us in keeping on going. He's an awesome person to do a 3-legged race with hehe :)
25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.
27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
They will be protected forever,
but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;
29 the righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.
There we go - a reiteration of God's promises of the protection and blessing that comes from trusting in God and dwelling in the land we may inherit by virtue of our position as His children!
30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.
31 The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.
32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very lives;
33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.
I.e. when we are challenged by others because of our faith, God will never forsake us and leave us to be pummelled by the opposition. I'm quite sure that during those times, He'll miraculously provide us with the words to say or the actions to take, in emerging victorious and bringing glory to His name!
34 Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.
Again, the reinforcement comes - to be PATIENT for God, and to meanwhile keep His way, i.e. just doing what He's called us to do, irregardless of what the world says or dictates success or progress to be. As a result, He'll raise us up to inherit the land, i.e. He'll be the one to pave the way for promotion. Feels good that we don't have to strive to make that happen - it automatically comes as a result of resting in the Lord and walking in His ways. And those people whom seem to succeed around us by following the ways of the word may also suddenly find that true lasting success or happiness wasn't there in the first place...
35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.
37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
the future of the wicked will be cut off.
39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD ;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.
So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Heb 13:6 / Ps 118:6-7)
prinsessa mused @ 12:17 PM
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Yawn.
Woke up at 4+am last night, and couldn't get back to sleep. Dunno why I was so hyper-active. My body was tired, but my mind kept on racing. But haiyah, God is good and sustains me :)
Can't believe it's already been a week since I last posted. Just finished another presentation on Tuesday, marking the end of my normal term in SMU. Day by day my lifespan as a student grows shorter...can't help but feel nostalgic, you know? But can't dwell too long there, everyday brings fresh dreams and fresh opportunities too! Shall not "live yesterday or tomorrow at the cost of today" :)
Also just sent in my resume to F&S. Am supposed to go for a walk-in interview on 22 April, but am hoping to shift it further back so that the results for the GE application can come in too, then I can make a more informed choice. But well, que sera sera, leave it in God's hands, one step at a time lah.
Alrighty shall go rest a bit before studying a bit more later...was studying with V at Suntec Macs today. Not too bad, managed to cover 6 chapters of reading while munching on BT's sunflower seed bun...yummy...but now still feel like snacking on something....mouth itchy hehe :)
Kopi-meter: 1 x + 1 x + 2 x prinsessa mused @ 7:27 PM
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