I should be sleeping right now, but I'm not. Not by choice, I can assure you. Not sure why, but yesterday and today I've been waking up at 12.30am for no reason. So here I am. Well, at least I can blog now :)

On Friday I met up with S and C over lunch to catch up. It's strange how the topics of conversation have changed from grousing about modules, BOSS, professors with indiscernable accents, the food at Food Haven, to the world of securities, credit cards, colleagues, bosses, working hours. But trust me, I still prefer the former. One thing remains certain and assuring - I'm not the only one who misses the casual wear of uni.

Stomach hasn't been well. Boss chased me home today, saying I look terrible. (She's one of those people who can say such things and yet make you feel the total un-terrible about it.) I do thank God for people like her and Pastor M. They are the Barnabases of my life :)

Finally finished Chapter 1 of the storybook adaption that I'm working with T on. I seriously never envisioned writing to be this hard. It's nothing like number crunching, where you can set aside 2 hours to finish a problem, and you know you'll get somewhere. Writing is like a balloon - it goes with the flow of the wind of inspiration. When it actually does blow, that is.

Alrighty, enough musings for a Monday night / Tuesday morning. Now, where's the sandman when I need him?

My first payslip:


Ok, maybe it isn't as impressive as a hardcopy one, but hey, the substance counts more than the form, right?

I find it almost hard to believe that it's already been one month since I started work at GE. And well, I do feel a sense of job satisfaction with the tasks that I've been given. At least they aren't the 'mundane' sorta work one would expect to receive as an intern. They do require brain-work, which I'm actually glad for. And yes, I've actually been able to apply what I've learnt in uni! Seriously... E.g. variance analysis for my cash flow model (which I'm to do from scratch), writing a completely new GST manual for the business' finance dept (SYL would be proud).

Of course there's much more ahead, and today I had a slight taste of 'politics', if one could call it that. What happened was that I got ready to leave the office at about 6.15pm, which is already later than my usual 5.30pm disappear time. And one of my colleagues commented, "Wah, today stay so late ah?" And me being me, I didn't catch the 'sacarsm' behind that comment until one of my other colleagues pointed it out to me. I laughed it away and explained that I'm more of an early bird, i.e. I prefer getting to work at 7plus and leaving early, rather than sleeping in late and leaving late. But of course, no one sees the early bird; the late bird seems more 'glamourous'. Whatever the case, my direct manager did say that it's results that counts, no matter what time span the job is done in. Then again, I may be idealistic in taking that at face value; after all, perception is reality. Staying late is perceived as hardworking; leaving early, well, you can tell what comes next.

But anyhow, my conscience is clear. I've been completing my work well and on time, my manager's been giving me good evaluations, so why should I be penalised for leaving early? I refuse to be drawn in to the whole "stay back to show face"... tho it sometimes IS easier said than done.

The working world truly IS a whole different world. Good challenge.

And thank GOD that I don't face it alone. Holy Spirit, You are faithful, and I need Your wisdom, guidance, companionship and comfort more than ever.

I am quite the nerd. Or bookworm, intellectual, whatever people call people who like to read. To me, the ultimate pleasure is found in snuggling up in bed with a good book, a warm cup of tea & oatmeal raisin cookies, fresh from the oven.

I love to read (to this day I wonder how I've managed to remain the only one in my family that doesn't have to wear specs), and that's the thing I miss doing ever since work started. The only reading I've been able to do is that of TODAY, albeit during the small pockets of time on the bus / MRT. But I indulged myself the other day, and went shopping in MPH, emerging with 2 books:

1) Memoirs of a Geisha (I refuse to watch the movie without reading the book first, so that my first impression remains pure and untainted by someone else's interpretation); and
2) Why You Act The Way You Do

And it's the 2nd book that I'm currently reading. As you may have guessed from the title, it's about the 4 famous temperaments (Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy & Phlegmatic), but applied with a Christian perspective. Somehow one can never get enough of reading personality-tests-&-types literature. Perhaps it's rooted in an inherent desire to be understood. But well, it's proven to be a fascinating read so far, and I think I've found my profile:

The ChlorMel
The choleric/melancholy is an extremely industrious and capable person. The
optimism and practicality of the choleric overcome the tendency towards
moodiness of the melancholy, making the ChlorMel both goal-oriented and
detailed. Such a person usually does well in school, possessing a quick,
analytical mind, yet is decisive. He develops into a thorough leader, the kind
whom one can always count on to do an extraordinary job. Never take him on
in a debate unless you are assured of your facts, for he will make mincemeat of
you, combining aggressiveness and attendance to detail. This man is extremely
competitive and forceful in all that he does. He is a dogged researcher and is
usually successful, no matter what kind of business he pursues. This temperament
probably makes the best natural leader...

Equally as great as his strengths are his weaknesses. He is apt to be
autocratic, a dictator type who inspires admiration and hate simultaneously. He
is usually a quick-witted talker whose sarcasm can devastate others. He is a
natural-born crusader whose work habits are irregular and long... He combines
the hard-to-please tendency of the choleric and the perfectionism of the
melancholy. When controlled by the Holy Spirit, however, his entire emotional
life is transformed and he makes an outstanding Christian. ...

I think one of my greatest weaknesses (or, more PC, "development needs") is in the area of sensitivity, or lack of, towards others. I tend to be more task- than people-oriented, and can get frustrated when people drag their feet in doing something that I believe passionately in. But I'm learning to demand less and listen & rally more, realising the need to keep on sharing vision rather than expecting people to automatically catch it after hearing it once.

Thank God for the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, that I can truly and honestly thank God for being weak, for "when I am weak, then I am strong".

His grace is sufficient for me, and His power made perfect in my weakness.

I paid $1.10 for this at the mama shop at Change Alley:


When the same packet costs 45 cents in SPC! Means the mama shop has like an approx 250% markup!!!

So it's true what they say - prices rocket sky high in the CBD.

Time to start dapao-ing my snacks... Or maybe it's just God's way of telling me to cut down on the snacking while I'm at work. Already my skirt is feeling kinda tight...

I'm terrible at playing the networking game.

Yesterday the staff from my current business rotation went to Harry's Bar after work as a farewell for the outgoing CEO & welcome for the incoming CEO for the business. While I think I can interact with people quite "ok-ly" on a one-to-one basis, especially if there are my peers, I somewhat freeze and clam up when in the presence of "greatness", i.e. my bosses. So of course, I was inwardly panicking as I was walking to the bar, envisioning the 1,001 scenarios I'll find myself in when I am confronted with needing to say "hi" to the CEOs... And of course, me being a total newbie to the whole pubbing/clubbing scene (I'm a more coffee-jazz kinda gal), I bluntly and "blur-ly" asked the bartender if they served plain water. His temporarily stunned+disgusted look taught me lesson #1 for the night:

It's sky-juice, dummy.

And it didn't help matters when I was 'suan-ed' by my boss:

Boss: "Sarah, take it easy with the drink, you don't wanna get drunk too early
in the night."

Me: "Huh? But I'm not drinking..."

A colleague: "(Boss' name), Sarah's just having plain water." (I think she meant to help me out)

Boss: "Exactly."

Right.

But well, on Sunday I was talking to Pastor Mark, and yea, I decided that I'm just going to enjoy being myself, and being nice to people because people deserve to be treated nicely, regardless of whatever-O they may be.

So that's what I did.

And guess what? I have no idea how it happened, but I suddenly found myself standing RIGHT IN FRONT of the incoming CEO when welcome speeches etc started, earning myself a wink or 2 from him when a joke was cracked.

Not only did I get to introduce myself to him, I also had a nice chat with the outgoing CEO, who, today, said "hi" to me in the office like 3-4 times - on a first name basis. AND I didn't stay long at the cocktail too...I even made it to church in time for my youth committee meeting at 8 plus!

Truly, the Holy Spirit helps us to be "in the world, not of the world".

And I think life's alot easier when Col 3:23 is the focus - "Whatever you do, do it with all your heart, as unto the LORD, not unto man."

After all, we can't please everyone, so might as well concentrate on pleasing only the One that truly matters.

(P/S I love the article (posted below) on Bono. It says it all.)

Bono: Grace over Karma

There have been a number of books written about U2 and their iconic frontman, Bono, arguably the world's most famous rock star. But not till now has Bono himself come out to tell his own story. In the new book, Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas (Riverhead Books), the rocker shares his thoughts on numerous topics with a French music journalist and friend who has been with the band virtually since the beginning. In a series of honest conversations presented in Q&A format, Bono discusses, among other things, his upbringing (including the death of his mother when he was a teen and the ensuing rocky relationship with his father, who died just a few years ago), U2's beginnings, his bandmates, his marriage, fatherhood, his passion for social action, the effects of celebrity, and, fittingly, his faith and how it intersects all of the above.

The following exchange between Bono and Assayas took place just days after the Madrid train bombings in March 2004, an act of terrorism that left 191 dead and more than 1,800 wounded. The two men were discussing how terrorism is often carried out in the name of religion when Bono turned the conversation to Christianity, expressing his preference for God's grace over "karma," offering an articulate apologetic for the deity of Christ, and giving a clear presentation of the gospel message.

Bono: My understanding of the Scriptures has been made simple by the person of Christ. Christ teaches that God is love. What does that mean? What it means for me: a study of the life of Christ. Love here describes itself as a child born in straw poverty, the most vulnerable situation of all, without honor. I don't let my religious world get too complicated. I just kind of go: Well, I think I know what God is. God is love, and as much as I respond [sighs] in allowing myself to be transformed by that love and acting in that love, that's my religion. Where things get complicated for me, is when I try to live this love. Now that's not so easy.

Assayas: What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?

Bono: There's nothing hippie about my picture of Christ. The Gospels paint a picture of a very demanding, sometimes divisive love, but love it is. I accept the Old Testament as more of an action movie: blood, car chases, evacuations, a lot of special effects, seas dividing, mass murder, adultery. The children of God are running amok, wayward. Maybe that's why they're so relatable. But the way we would see it, those of us who are trying to figure out our Christian conundrum, is that the God of the Old Testament is like the journey from stern father to friend. When you're a child, you need clear directions and some strict rules. But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross.

Assayas: Speaking of bloody action movies, we were talking about South and Central America last time. The Jesuit priests arrived there with the gospel in one hand and a rifle in the other.

Bono: I know, I know. Religion can be the enemy of God. It's often what happens when God, like Elvis, has left the building. [laughs] A list of instructions where there was once conviction; dogma where once people just did it; a congregation led by a man where once they were led by the Holy Spirit. Discipline replacing discipleship. Why are you chuckling?

Assayas: I was wondering if you said all of that to the Pope the day you met him.

Bono: Let's not get too hard on the Holy Roman Church here. The Church has its problems, but the older I get, the more comfort I find there. The physical experience of being in a crowd of largely humble people, heads bowed, murmuring prayers, stories told in stained-glass windows …

Assayas: So you won't be critical.

Bono: No, I can be critical, especially on the topic of contraception. But when I meet someone like Sister Benedicta and see her work with AIDS orphans in Addis Ababa, or Sister Ann doing the same in Malawi, or Father Jack Fenukan and his group Concern all over Africa, when I meet priests and nuns tending to the sick and the poor and giving up much easier lives to do so, I surrender a little easier.

Assayas: But you met the man himself. Was it a great experience?

Bono: … [W]e all knew why we were there. The Pontiff was about to make an important statement about the inhumanity and injustice of poor countries spending so much of their national income paying back old loans to rich countries. Serious business. He was fighting hard against his Parkinson's. It was clearly an act of will for him to be there. I was oddly moved … by his humility, and then by the incredible speech he made, even if it was in whispers. During the preamble, he seemed to be staring at me. I wondered. Was it the fact that I was wearing my blue fly-shades? So I took them off in case I was causing some offense. When I was introduced to him, he was still staring at them. He kept looking at them in my hand, so I offered them to him as a gift in return for the rosary he had just given me.

Assayas: Didn't he put them on?

Bono: Not only did he put them on, he smiled the wickedest grin you could ever imagine. He was a comedian. His sense of humor was completely intact. Flashbulbs popped, and I thought: "Wow! The Drop the Debt campaign will have the Pope in my glasses on the front page of every newspaper."

Assayas: I don't remember seeing that photograph anywhere, though.

Bono: Nor did we. It seems his courtiers did not have the same sense of humor. Fair enough. I guess they could see the T-shirts.

Later in the conversation:

Assayas: I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that's normal. It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep s---. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

Assayas: The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.

Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled… . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Assayas: That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?

Bono: No, it's not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: "I'm the Messiah." I'm saying: "I am God incarnate." And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You're a bit eccentric. We've had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don't mention the "M" word! Because, you know, we're gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you're expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he's gonna keep saying this. So what you're left with is: either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase. I mean, we're talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we've been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had "King of the Jews" on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I'm not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that's farfetched …

Bono later says it all comes down to how we regard Jesus:

Bono: … [I]f only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. …When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s--- and everybody else's. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that's the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it.

From Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas, by Michka Assayas, copyright © 2005 by Michka Awwayas. Used by permission of Riverhead Books, an imprint of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. For online information about other Penguin Group (USA) books and authors, see the website at http://www.penguin.com/.

The headline says it all.

While SR Nathan gets my full vote, I was honestly hoping that Election Day on 27 Aug would have materialised. You can say that I'm an economist at heart - I believe in competition, because monopolies often tend to become inefficient, complacent and over-confident.

Take for example the entry of SMU in 2000. The "young upstart" completely changed the landscape that Singapore universities were so used to operating on. Initially scorned, marketing has now become the new buzzwords of academic institutions which are increasingly tending towards the "privately-run" route of organisation. When the consumer (in this case, students and their parents) become more spoilt for choice, the provider suddenly is forced to sit up and start to woo its market on planes previously untouched, in the knowledge that it can no longer sit back, the attraction of customers no longer a given as before.

But of course, I also don't agree that there should be competition for competition's sake. After all, competition is only truly effective when opponents are worthy enough. Competition between rogues and wimps is no competition at all.

And with that, Mr Nathan - I look forward to another 6 good years of leadership.

Met my ex-childhood-sweetheart-now-very-good-friend K yesterday, he's in Singapore after having been in Thailand for a missions trip. He's actually working in NZ now, so it's a real treat to see him face-to-face, finally. And yes, he's back here with his Malaysian fiance, J, who's truly the nice, sweet girl he says her to be. They are getting married next year February (thank goodness he's doing the sensible thing of holding the wedding here rather than in NZ, though if he pays for his guests' air tickets there, why not, eh?).

And yes, I can say with all honesty, I am 100% happy for him. I guess it's cos our friendship has come such a long way and matured to a level where we can reminisce together, look back and laugh heartily at all the silly adolescent puppy-love things we used to do. We were never officially together - somehow, when I had a crush on him, he had his sights on someone else; when I finally got over him, then he started to fancy me... It's strange, how these things go. Then again, it wasn't Cupid shooting the arrow, but his pet dog ("puppy love", geddit?), so what can one expect, right?

But I am thankful that our relationship didn't degenerate into those tension-filled ones that so often happen between friends who become more than friends for a while then realise it can't work and find that it's hard to return to being just friends.

I had a guy friend who said this once: it's hard for a guy and girl to be truly CLOSE PLATONIC friends without having experienced romantic feelings for each other, whether spoken or unspoken. But once that threshhold is crossed, it's like a make-or-break situation - you either become real close, platonic friends, or perhaps not even friends at all.

Tricky thing, love is. Then again, I wanna qualify that - love is not a word to be used loosely, as so often is the case.

Have I ever been in love then? Good question. I've been in only one serious relationship before, but that was when I was 18. I used the 4-letter word then. But looking back, I was probably too young to really know what love is.

Even now, I don't profess to have truly grasped it. Yet, it's ok. I'm not worrying.

Perhaps it's like ice-cream to a poor African child - you can describe it with all the world's vocabulary, but it'll never fully measure up to the first wondrous experience of that piece of cold heaven melting in the mouth...

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps :)

On a related note, I did one of those personality tests that were mentioned in Lifestyle today:

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it?
Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance. (hmmm...)

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

Right...

K, better get my head out of the clouds and into my luggage bag to pack for tomorrow's conference in Malaysia...

In conjunction with Singapore's 40th birthday, a local health & nutrition store is having the following promotion:

40% off the 2nd bottle
25% off the 1st bottle*
* - only for one item

This would suggest that:

If you buy 1 bottle, you get 25% off it.
If you buy 2 bottles, you get 40% off the 2nd bottle, but pay full price for the 1st; i.e. if 1 bottle costs $100 & you buy 2 bottles, you'll pay a total of $100 + $(100-40) = $160, hence an effective discount of 40/200 = 20% per bottle.

Then wouldn't it make more sense to buy each bottle separately under the 25% discount?

Hmmm.