One of the (more unpleasant) side effects of my condition is low T3 output (ie low thyroid activity) = lowered metabolism = weight gain.

Seriously, I'm struggling to fit into the pairs of pants that were actually kinda loose just a few months ago. On careful analysis, seems like the weight gain is concentrated in my waist & thighs, and yes, it shows up on my face too (the first place I put on weight at).

Ok, lest this is dismissed as yet another female-rambling-dangerous-territory-for-men-to-get-involved whining, bear with me a while more.

I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit. This whole "I-know-I-am-fat-even-though-no-one-else-says-so" syndrome that women can never get away from. Have gone around asking a few male friends, and they just can't comprehend why women keep saying they're fat, cos guys seldom notice it anyway. I read an article about "briderexia", where the bride loses weight drastically just before the wedding to look good, and the grooms interviewed all mention that it was never their idea in the first place - the bride was the one who mooted it, and the guy thought, hey, if it makes her happy...

So why do we keep obsessing about weight? Is it really a girl thing, something wired in our head? Do women in cultures where fat is deemed beautiful think about losing weight?? If not, then are women bashing ourselves inside out (bingeing, purging) & outside in (extreme exercise, slimming programs) just to conform to the standards of society?

Are we women that superficial to the point we make ourselves miserable?

I wonder what would happen if I were to hit the streets and ask women if they'd rather be 1) thin and sickly or 2) fat and healthy.

Tough one, eh. Most would probably, in front of me and their friends, choose Option 2, but inside think, nah I'd rather be Option 1.

Of course, in an ideal world, everyone would be Option 1.5 - Thin & healthy. But that's in an ideal world of the average woman looking like a Barbie (read: fat hope).

As for me, if I were to be real honest with myself, I would have chosen Option 1. But now, feeling the way I am today, all I'm aiming for is 2b) healthy. And if being fat is part of the package... I'd say, so be it, with a cringe and a smile. Cringing because nobody likes to be fat, but smiling because I know I am loved nevertheless.

As for a future husband, well, God will take care of that (my hubby'd better love me, fat or thin, don't want to have to go for any slimming program after I've given birth).

Today, Life! quoted Sarah Jessica Parker as saying this about her son's vocabulary:

I've forbidden the word "fat" because I don't like the way it's used and I don't want him to ever use that word.

I always knew Sarahs were wise women ;)