Ok, I'm all set. Luggage packed, admin stuff cleared, am about to head off to Changi Airport to celebrate an event with some of my youth, before doing the necessary checking in. I am excited, and am really looking forward to being able to stop and rest on the flight, away from the hustle and bustle. I'll be journalling my thoughts and experiences in my trusty Palm, believe it's going to be one enlightening and revelatory journey, not just in the physical, but in the arena of faith.

I resolutely set my face towards Jerusalem...

Stay tuned on 29 June for the return!

I just finished doing the final editing of my Valedictorian speech for the mock interview tomorrow. I think it probably sounds rather idealistic, but I hope it causes people to think and be challenged anyhow. Don't believe we need to conform to the status quo of this world. After all, the Word says that we are to "be in the world but not of the world", and thus it must not be impossible to achieve, but not easy nonetheless.

Have also just finished 50% of packing for my trip to Israel (leaving tomorrow at 10.10pm on TURKISH airlines...that'll be a first for me. Wonder what kind of airline food they serve...). But I am looking forward to it, for the breather, and for the fresh perspective it'll bring. It'll sure cause the Bible to come alive in a whole new dimension.

Today I had an awesome time in church. Had the privilege of attending 2 services in 2 different churches - one my own, one a nearby church, cos the youth comm wanted to suss out the speaker to possibly invite her to speak at our youth camp end of this year. One statement she made has stuck with me even till now. She mentioned that "miracles cause people to become aware of God on a personal level, and bring them to a place of decision regarding Him." It's so profoundly true. Miracles, in themselves, are by nature flashy and attention-grabbing, but they serve a higher purpose than mere entertainment, only if combined by the sharing of the Word and of the Gospel. For it is not miracles, but the truth, that'll set people free. As I yearn to move deeper in Him, especially spiritually, that must always remain my motive - not to attract people unto myself, but unto the Person who chooses to work through me.

Kopi-meter: 1 x + 2 x

Yes, I'm back from church camp, and was it AWESOME. Till this point, even now, I can't even begin to put into words the experience, the touch, the deep stirring, the privilege of being used by Him for His glory and purpose. But one thing I do know, is that I met Him in a very real way, and that's just but the beginning of more and deeper revelations to come.

In fact, today the reminder for me is to be careful not to live in the glory of yesterday, or even in the anointing or encouragement of yesterday, but to "forget what is behind and press on to what's ahead in Christ Jesus", because there are better things to come. Even more than I can ask or imagine! And the call for me is to simply obey and trust God, and not doubt one single bit as to the extent and magnitude He wants to use me, even further, for His glory and kingdom! But I must continue to love and obey Him, to, above all, seek to please HIM above pleasing men, that everything I do is out of a genuine love for Him and men, and not for reputation or any mere outward appearance of spirituality.

And I cling on to being burning as a human torch for Him, not as a flame that relies on yesterday's touch, but one that's continually fanned brighter everyday by spending time with Him and His Word. I yearn to be a vessel where both His power and presence can both reside, in ever-increasing glory, that I may be able to truly "arise and shine" for Him, not for personal glory, but for His kingdom's sake. I yearn to move even deeper, even deeper, in the prophetic, to minister a timely word from the Lord to those around me, all whom He loves deeply, whether Christian or not. To truly be a living channel of His love and power!

I cling onto His personal destiny for me, rather than desire anyone else's destiny. It's so tempting to envy and strive, but today I decide to fix my eyes on Him, and to see myself as He sees me. For I know I am called to a purpose that I've been especially created to fulfill, and it is that creates meaning for my existence. I don't want to be one running as though "beating the air", but one living for a purpose that goes beyond the natural understanding of what life on this earth is all about.

A deeper and fuller revelation of You Lord! To hear Your voice in such clarity and precision, and to KNOW You in such a measure beyond my imagination. I call unto You, and know that You have promised to answer me, and tell me great and unsearchable things I do not know... I want to know You more and more!

Kuppa-meter: 2 x

I just finished packing (at least 90% lah, remaining stuff are things like toiletries which I only can pack in tomorrow anyway), as well as drafting my mock Valedictorian speech (the panel needs a copy before the interview on 13 June). Praise God that I was still able to squeeze out something from my tired brain (it feels preserved and shrivelled now. Lack of sleep = strange illustrations used). But well, I think the main gist is there. Will probably tweak it more when I return.

Anyway, I finally had a good proper talk with Dad and Mum this evening, before I confirm my acceptance of the GE position (the formal terms etc will be emailed to me on Mon, which I'll check at the hotel). It's really a relief that both of them have given their blessings. Family support, especially in something as important as a career, is very very important to me. I think, despite my wanting the position so badly, their blessings would have taken precedence in my position. But well, have submitted it to God, and He did assure me with the promise of Rom 8:28, that all things work together for good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And truly, they have. God is good... so good to be able to cast all our cares on Him, for He cares for us. Makes life so much more worth the living :) Meanwhile...



This is where I'll be at for the next 5 days (6-10 June). Better get some shut eye, long bus ride tomorrow.

Port Dickson, here I come!

Kuppa-meter: 2 x

To all my faithful readers - thank you for still checking in despite my tardiness :P but warning: the next few days and weeks are going to see erratic and irregular postings, as I'll be 'gainfully employed' with other matters. But keep the faith in this blogger ;)

Ok shall do a quick digest of the past week's happenings:

Monday
Doomsday has come in the form of Tax Planning (aptly ironic how the only 2 certainties in this world are death and taxes...). YL did warn us that out of the 4 questions in Section B (we were to choose 3), 2 would be computational, and the other 2 would be discussive, and out of the 2 computational questions, 1 would be particularly difficult. I read Qn 3 (Qns 1 and 2 belonged to Section A), saw that it SEEMED straightforward and short, especially in contrast to Qn 5, which was so long and convulted that the words swam before me, so I happily chose Qn 3, 4 and 6. And guess what? Yes yes, Murphy's Law applies - Qn 3 was the difficult computational question, and yes yes, my answer was totally off-tangent. But well, in the good and the bad, God is good, and I'm just going to let go and leave it in His hands. :)

Went home straight after that to piah the case for the GE interview. God already gave me inspiration for the concept (my sports cafe is to be called "Ballistic!") as well as the strategy to adopt, but I had problems with balancing the figures. At this point, help came in the form of Dad and Mum, who forsook their early night's rest to encourage me and guide me along. Thank God for parents :) Well, as for me, I went to bed at about 5.15am...

Tuesday
And woke up at about 8plus to finish up on some last min details that I believe the Lord brought to my remembrance. So, with 3 hours of sleep, but in the power of the Holy Spirit (that makes all the difference), I went in for the GE interview.

To be very honest, it was extremely tough. I was bombarded with questions that highlighted some key aspects that were neglected, and my answers, to me at least, sounded a bit lame. But well, from past experience, what I thought went badly, God turned around for good, so when I left GE tower, I just laid it all down before God and gave it into His hands. Whether the GE position is to come is all within His will for my life, which is always perfect. So, let go and let God lah.

Went to church for YM prayer after that. I love the kids lah, so raw and yet so willing to be used of God. That's what makes the difference - availability, not ability. Though of course there were a lot of last-min organisational details to be worked out, but beyond that, the Holy Spirit's gonna take over. In the long run, it's not the activities that are going to count, but the transformation work He's going to do in the lives. So - all in His hands!

After that, in the evening, was music practice for Pentacost Friday. Physically quite zonked by then, but the Holy Spirit is my strength.

Wednesday
Woke up early to go to Macs to have breakfast with God (devotion over coffee and bread :)), and incidentally met Regina and Nelson there. Decided not to be legalistic, so I set my pen and paper aside and just enjoyed the fellowship. It was good :)

The first part of OneWayUp went well, aside from the inevitable hiccups. Yep quite a number of things were overlooked and forgotten (e.g. a whistle, which is very important given that the games are played in a big field. Shouting is no joke.) Yet what heartens me is the fortitude and excellent attitude shown by the 1WU com. None of them threw tantrums or got angry (though frustration, there was :)), and stuck it through. Excellent bunch :)

And God did an amazing thing in holding back the rain! It started to drizzle a bit, but we made faith declarations that it is not going to rain, and left it as that, because we know the God we serve is bigger than nature :) And yep, as expected, it didn't rain :) God is good!

Had to run off to GE halfway through though (yep, brought my jacket, shoes, makeup, the whole works, and lugged a huge brown paper bag while managing to balance on my heels). Had a meeting with SK and S in GE for them to sound me out further re the FMP as to whether I'll be a good fit, both for their sakes as well as my own. The meeting did end on a good note though, and we even ended up talking a bit about church! How awesome is that? hehe..

Went back, changed, had some time to rest before YM service at night. And MAN was it AWESOME!!! I know SOMETHING happened in 165 Upper East Coast Road - DESTINY happened! I KNOW that the young people caught a vision beyond themselves, into who they can be in God, and I KNOW now they are really going to RISE up - ONE WAY UP! They are so so inspiring lah. Esp seeing the worship team, E & L, the emcees, the kids acting.... all of them so precious, and bursting with potential in Him! Am SO excited at what is to come!!!

And most importantly - SALVATION happened! That makes it all worth it! One more soul in God's kingdom - the heavens are rejoicing!!! And I KNOW that that's but a glimmer of the many more souls to come!

Thursday
The whole bunch of us stayed over at PM's place (so cute to see the little bodies sprawled all over the place. I had the small square on the staircase hehe). Slept probably less than 1 hour in effect, but well, the Holy Spirit's empowerment is enough man :) We did morning PT, then came back to pray for our schools. Another power power time of just seeking God. And hearing the impressions that the young ones shared - WOW! God is truly raising up a generation of young people who will choose to love God and people radically!!! Words cannot begin to describe the excitement I feel in my spirit lah :)

The afternoon was spent in Sentosa (Amazing-Race style ;)). Again, God did the amazing thing of holding back the rain despite an initial slight drizzle. Believe it's because His young people dared to believe and trust in their God :) But by this point, you could see the exhaustion and tiredness on the faces. Everyone was so stoned on the way back from Sentosa to Singapore, so cute lah :)

As for me, the moment I reached home, no lah I didn't immediately conk out, had to go bathe etc first, but when I did go to bed, to my surprise I didn't fall asleep on first contact with the pillow. I actually did take a while in getting to sleep. Maybe it's the idea of such overwhelming fatigue to the point where one cannot sleep cos one is too tired. But well, eventually sleep did come.....

Friday
Kinda lazed around in the morning to rest (woke up at the godly hour of 8plus. Body clock still intact, apparently ;)), before heading to uni for alumni meeting. It was nice to be able to catch up with the rest (and esp to count my blessings for not having started work yet. The horror stories that were shared...... having time now is good :P).

Had a chance meeting with the Israeli professor (who taught Accounting Theory and was lugging home the huge stack of exam scripts from the AT exam in the morning) who was walking out of SMU at the same time as I was (had never met him before prior to this). We actually had a rather deep and interesting conversation, and it's so timely to have met him, considering that I'm going to Israel on 13 June too (too bad he's only going back home in July, or else my brother and I can probably go look him up there). He says that Israel is cooler than Singapore in terms of weather - sure hope so :)

Had Pentacost Friday in the evening. I was really zonked then, and I think I actually 'blanked out' a few times while playing :O But like what was shared during the musicians' debrief, God moved despite ourselves. The Holy Spirit was there, and that makes all the difference :)

Something rather strange happened at night when I was home though. I was in my room, about to go to bed. During this time I was SMSing A and M, both who were going thru rough patches. Then as I was about to sleep, I heard some sounds of battle. I thought my younger brother switched on the TV or something, so I went out of my room to ask him to tone it down. BUT he hadn't switched on the TV, and no volume was coming out from the computer (which he was at). So I thought, ok, maybe it's my older brother. But his room was shut, and there wasn't any sound coming out of his room. Weird. So I went back to my room, lay back on my bed, and again I heard the sounds of battle. And that's where the Holy Spirit revealed to me - this is the time of spiritual battle. Felt the need to intercede for A and M in tongues, and so I did, until I felt the release, and then the sounds stopped, and I went to bed.

Audio visions, coolness plus!

Saturday
Had another early start today. Went to Macs early for morning devotion over bread and coffee, and then headed to church for music practice at 9am. Again, it was entirely the Lord's sustainence. Wouldn't have made it through without His supernatural empowering, especially physically.

Immediately following that was Gift of Love (our food distribution project to a block of single-room flats in Bedok). Again, another awesome time. God opened doors (literally!) for us to enter into homes and speak to them and bless them, and get to know them better. But more importantly, we had 2 salvations!!! Woohoo! It's all God lah!!!

After that, here's the sequence of events, each in quick succession:
2.40pm: Celebrated YH's birthday at Siglap Macs
3.00pm: Caught up with L at Siglap Starbucks over coffee
4.15pm: Prayer meeting in church
5.00pm: Pre-service practice
5.30pm: Service

And the service was power. Believe God did a transforming work in our midst, that the response to the altar call was not jus tmerely a physically response, but one that was made with a firm decision to truly carry the cross for Christ. God spoke through PM, and I know the youth were challenged to really get serious in running the race for Him, because what's ahead is going to be challenging, stretching, but definitely exciting, and worth all the blood, sweat and tears!

After service I also had a chat with another youth, A. He's such a sweetheart lah, his childlike desire to draw closer to God and to hear Him more clearly is so touching and inspirational. No wonder Jesus said in Mt 18:3 - "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." So wonderful to know we can always draw near to God, our Papa, no holds barred, but to freely come into His presence and know that He'll NEVER turn us away, because He loves us more than we can ever even begin to comprehend!

Day 9 of the Brain Fast
Actually, it's been pretty alright this week, given the full program of events, so not that much time to read other things anyway. The closest thing would probably be the resting time on Friday, but as I continued to read Peter Youngren's book on healing and listen to Hillsong United's new CD, my rest and renewal came :)

Am so so looking forward to church camp next week! It won't really be a holiday lah (I'll be laying piano, backup singing, leading one of the morning prayer meetings), but that's good!Because I'm really expecting for God to move and speak in a fresh new way to our church. Holy Spirit come!

P/S A pimple has chosen to appear on my right cheek, but nothing a little strategic positioning of the hair can't fix :)